The reviews are in from A Very Secular Christmas Special (food and drink menu viewable here):

“Home-made egg nog is a good thing.” — Martha Stewart, Reformed Felon

“Mmmmmhmmmmmhmmmm!” — Clarence Beeks, Security, Duke & Duke

“Fuuuuuuuuuuudge!” — Ralphie, Local Gun Enthusiast

“How sad to defile Christmas in this way by inviting friends together to share their company, cheer, and good feelings.” — Kirk Cameron, Director, Saving Christmas

“Yes, Santa is white.” — Megyn Kelly, White Lady on TV